I remember being six years old, carrying with me the deck of playing cards my grandmother gifted me the previous year, in its water stained bicycle box. I would do readings on the sheet bed, as I would call it, because we couldn’t afford a mattress, let alone food.
I wasn’t able to enroll in school for over six months because the only outfit I owned was three sizes too small and laced with holes. I craved friendship, love and attention. I was alone most of the days starving, hoping my biological father would put his bottle down to fill my stomach with anything other than hunger pangs. He fed me lies, and I ate them with eagerness.
My biological mother remained absent most nights. I prayed she’d always come back to save me, but she always left me to endure touching moments with “friends“ where my body was an exchange for anything to numb the fist kissed bruises my father left her with.
I was numb. I was isolated, and abused.
I remember asking my cards every day if I’d ever be loved by my family. I would always get the Joker.
From six years until I could ever remember, I always believed my deck mocked me, responding that my life was in fact a joke.
It wasn’t until I realized that the Joker.. is like The Fool in Tarot.
In context to my question so long ago I was destined for a new beginning concerning a loving family, acceptance and unconditional love. I believe I am now in that future.
You all show me so much love, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I would be nothing without any of you.
Thank you for giving me the love of family that I have always wanted.
Thank you for caring, thank you for reading this, thank you for being alive, and part of my life.
Tarot and Divination have saved my life in more ways than I think I’ll ever be able to thank and repay my gratitude for.
Very moving story